Things seem to be going better in my collaboration with Ms. Solly, who is sometimes unpredictable and sometimes unreliable. I think I make it harder because I never give her concrete responsibilities, which is due in part because she's unreliable (and most often for legitimate reasons like IEP meetings or other responsibilities, but sometimes because she's having an off day) and also because I'm not prepared that far in advance.
And that preparation has becoming a constant struggle for me. I cannot seem to stop brainstorming, which often ends in making concrete plans at the last minute, when they are "due." I have a lot of mental prep work done, but it's a bit stressful to be writing lesson plans on a weekly basis, most of which are either new to me (I just learned the material myself) or new to the classroom (I designed the lesson and have not taught it before). This inexperience often leads to activities that (in my head) are interesting and engaging, but when I honestly appraise them, need more structure and directions in order to be effective. That's not to say that my ideas are unusable, but that (I'll say it again) I just need to spend more time structuring them.
I talked to Mr. Conrad a bit about this and expressed it as "focusing on myself rather than on my students." I think if I took more time to imagine receiving the assignments/activities as a student, I could prevent some of the problems I have. But where do you find that time? And I worry because this has been a consistent problem that I know i need to address, but I continue to make the same mistake.
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